How To Sneeze Pee Like A Lady AKA Light Bladder Leakage Sucks – Face It Pee Happens Today I show You How To Sneeze Pee With Style Or At Least Stay Dry
How To Sneeze Pee Like A Lady
Yep, you read that right. Today my friends, I’m going to teach you the fine art known as the Sneeze Pee. Because, let’s face it. Pee Happens. Every time I sneeze, I pee. Hell, every time I cough, I pee. And sometimes, when I laugh… yep. Pee Happens. Remember when I told you all about the birthday party that wasn’t ? The kidney stones from hell when I was stuck on the porcelain throne and all those shenanigans? Go on, read it. I’ll wait. Yes, you can laugh. Turns out, that was just the beginning of my sneeze pee problem.
With aging comes wisdom they say, right? Well what they don’t tell you is that with age comes wrinkles, gray hairs, stray hairs, weird sweaty sessions out of nowhere and the dreaded sneeze pee. Why? Why do we sneeze when we pee you ask? Well, according to Dr. Google, as many as 40% of women have Vaginal or Pelvic Organ Prolapse. Basically, because we pushed a few kids out in our 20’s, now that we are in our 40’s and rockin’ the peri-menopause badge, all our lady bits begin to just fall out. They can fall out!! The uterus, the bladder, everything that was once all tight and compact in it’s place, now loose-y goose-y. 40% of women are walking around with their va-jay-jay in distress and rarely do we hear anyone talk about it! We have the sneeze pee, the cough pee, the laugh pee and we just act like it totes fine down there. It’s anything but fine down there. Seriously ladies. We can say the word vagina. It’s not different than saying toenail. Well, aside from the fact that we file them down, polish them up real pretty after a good soak and massage. But hey, if you do that with your vagina, who am I to judge? I’m here to offer support. Understanding. A few tips and tricks to sneeze pee like a lady.
Step one – admit we have a problem. Do you pee when you sneeze? Yes? See, now that wasn’t so hard, right?
Step two – Cross your legs prior to the cough / sneeze pee, squeeze that vagina as tight as a nut-cracker and hope for the best. That’s what my daughter does too. And she’s only 23!
Step three – Pick yourself up these handy dandy Always Discreet Pads, slap one on the prettiest pair of undies you own and walk out into the world with your head held high. They got ya covered. Literally. You can find them at Target. And, any excuse to shop at Target I’m taking. But that’s just me. They also have an online subscription service. Know what that means? Cute delivery guy brings them right to your door every month! Sign up now and get 20% off. Cute delivery guy + saving money = SILVER LINING. (and for a change, it’s not a stray gray!)
The good news here is that it is normal for those of us with a uterus and vagina (yes, I just find any excuse to use that word) to have this problem. No, it’s not some sort of death sentence. No, it doesn’t automatically mean you have to have a hysterectomy. But Ronni!! I can’t walk around all day with this sneeze pee thing. What if I’m on a date? Or, at my Zumba class? (that’s a huge hot spot for the sneeze pee BTW) Or, what if I’m at the park with my kids??? You want me to change the baby’s diaper and mine too? No, I want you to make your husband change the baby while you go take care of yourself. There’s a whole line of options to choose from…
Always Discreet Liners
- Absorbs 2x more than you need*
*Based on average US consumer usage
- Thin and flexible design gives you discreet incontinence protection
Always Discreet Pads
- Full length Dual LeakGuards™ help prevent leaks
- Up to 40% thinner than the leading brand to help keep your incontinence protection discreet
Always Discreet Underwear
- Soft Dual LeakGuards™ help prevent overactive bladder leaks where they happen most – at the legs
- Advanced Triple Layer Core helps pull, trap and lock away urine wetness and odor
In the meantime, you can start by strengthening the pelvic floor muscles. Remember those kegels that we all did as teenagers with our friends at girly late night PJ parties? Laughing, giggling talking about not being one of ‘those’ old ladies who sneeze pee? Well stop laughing and get to squeezing! I’m doing them right now while I type! You are so welcome for that visual. There’s also surgical procedures that don’t involve removing any baby making parts to get things all tightened up and back in place. But, let’s first start with this. Because, I don’t like the idea of a sharp instrument anywhere near my vagina either. (yep, said it again!)
What have we learned about how to sneeze pee like a lady? Breathe in. Breathe out. You’re not alone in this, 40% of us are in fact doing it. Cross your legs before the sneeze. Have your discreet handy, because like it or not Pee Happens.
Be amazing! Share this with the women in your lives.
Help a sister out. You are not alone!
I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.
Catherine S says
I don’t have any issues with this yet, but a few friends of mine do. I will be to share this post with them.
Stacie @ Divine Lifestyle says
Oh my god, you’re awesome. Tight as a nutcracker! This entire post thoroughly entertained me.
Robin Rue (@massholemommy) says
I don’t have leakage issues, but there is a whole group of moms in my zumba class who do & there is always a collective sigh when a song with jumps comes on!
Liz Mays says
It’s definitely nice to have some protection! Great strategies. I love that the pads are really thin and discreet.
Marcie W. says
I am actually laughing out loud at your post. I occasionally have bladder issues when an activity or workout involves a ton of jumping. Great to know there are various types of protection available!
Always is a great brand. I know that I can rely on them!
These are too funny! Lol. I guess my kid won’t call e since I don’t pee a little when I sneeze 🙂
The sad truth of getting older! It isn’t pretty but it’s the truth.
It’s good to know there’s help..and that we aren’t alone. Thanks for the laughs and the information.
Sabrina @ Dinner, then Dessert says
I have to admit I’ve fallen victim to an unexpected urination before! You never know when it’ll happen!
lol I remember my mom laughing at my gram (not to be rude) for this sneezepee challenge. Now she has the same thing going on. Trust me, I’m not laughing. 😉
I only have this issue so far, when pregnant. But I’m glad theres things like always around to help when these times do occur!
Oh, dear…. One more thing to “look forward to.” LOL! Thanks for the suggestions. Brenda
Rebecca Forstadt Olkowski says
Sneeze pee, laugh pee, cough pee, that’s me. Natural childbirth was great except for that. Funny stuff.
Gotta love child bearing. Beautiful children and an uncontrollable bladder! LOL
Oh the title of this made me laugh out loud! Awesome way to have this discussion, thanks for sharing it!
Okay. This made me laugh. Fortunately, laughing doesn’t make me pee. Thank heavens for all of the core work I’ve endured since having three babies. It makes a huge difference!
Ann Bacciaglia says
Your post made me giggle. I don’t sneeze pee but if i have a bad cold i sometimes cough pee lol. I will have to pick up some Always for my next cold.
Kate K (My Mommy Brain) says
Thanks for the laugh!
Toni | Boulder Locavore says
Wow! Such an eye opening post. Love that you tell it like it is.
Tracy @ Ascending Butterfly says
No issues with that. Then again I do not have kids (and don’t plan to either) but I guess I should call my mom and be sure to thank her if that is what happens to moms! LOL 🙂